Just keep going…
Australian artist Jacklyn Foster admits that even though there are times she feels like giving up on her creative career, she didn’t come this far to only come this far.
Just. Give. Up.
This is all too hard.
Walking the line between packing it in and continuing the dream sometimes feels closer than I would like it to. On one hand, I can keep going, keep working hard, striving to make my dream career a reality, or I could simply pack up my workspace, delete my page and act like it never happened...
This is often an easy decision which I can simply laugh at and keep painting, but lately with a mix of exhaustion and personal events happening outside of my job, the pendulum is swinging differently, it's hasn't felt so obvious. I've been finding it harder to see my “wins”.
It scared me the other night when I woke up from a dream that I was back at my old job again, and my brain said, “Hey, that wasn't so bad, let's go back to that shall we? Imagine how easy life would be”. It felt so real, and for a moment it got through to me, and I momentarily believed it. Whereas again, I would normally laugh it off and say “Hell no”.
On top of that, I've discovered that working by myself all day, most days from home, isn't really my jam. I miss being around people. But it's financially viable to continue to do so for the next little while at least. And my dream is to a have a studio space with my team around me, which I'm working day by day to create.
I know in my core I couldn't back, it would destroy me to give up what I have created, and I know that I have moved, and will continue to move mountains.
But sometimes the voice in your head telling you to give up, that this isn't worth it, is a just little louder. The glasses you wear that show you just how well everyone else is doing, except you, all the rejections that seem to be outweighing the positives. (When in reality, that's not what's happening).
Perhaps these are the days we have to listen a little closer again, to the voice inside that got you this far and knows your dream is closer than you think.
Trust.
I didn't come this far, to only come this far.
